5 Signs You Have Long-Term Potential After Divorce
A lot of dates, new partnerships, and what look to be long-term relationships might seem like they have a lot of promise, but then they all go absolutely sour. This is something that occurs a lot after a divorce. You’re putting yourself out there and giving it your best shot after your marriage has ended, and it’s difficult. Following a divorce, how do you determine whether or not someone has the potential to be your partner for the long haul? How can you know that someone who seems to be so wonderful…really is that wonderful, after having lost all faith in the person with whom you had children?
It’s not an easy task. To be honest, in many ways, giving another person a genuine opportunity after a heartbreak is an act of God and Mother Nature… However, you have the option of continuing to be a scaredy cat who is terrified of suffering, or you may take a chance and experience genuine love once again.
Who do you want to be on the winning team? Which one is the cowardly one? Or do you like the brave?
What is my response? Those who are brave.
More than four years have passed since I began putting myself out there. I’ve been on more dates than I can keep track of. Mr. Right seems to be on another planet, but I’m hoping that he’ll ultimately make his way down to Earth and locate me. Mr. Wrongs, Mr. Weirds, Mr. No Commitments, and Mr. Nice-But-Not-Rights are all characters I’ve encountered.
Seriously, when Goldilocks came up with her little three-tier system, she wasn’t messing around: too this, too that, and just dang right, she wasn’t messing around. Finding the “just right” balance is difficult, and you may find yourself taking a taste of some sweet porridge, thinking how delicious it is, only to discover that your stomach is hurting. Alternatively, “This tastes sour right now.”
A spouse who understands what makes you happy and who makes an effort to keep you smiling is a true blessing and a treasure to have.
So, how can you know whether the person you’re seeing has genuine potential for a long-term relationship, especially after a divorce? Here are a few indicators.
1. Your new partner is interested in getting to know your children.
If your new spouse is interested in spending time with your children and getting to know them, then congrats! You’ve found someone who’s worth getting to know and who you think you’ll be able to go the distance with. Bonus points if this individual has wonderful children as well as being a kind and attentive parent. If you meet someone who is a good parent and who wants to be engaged with your children, you must avoid making a mistake. There’s no need to rush…
2. You and your new partner can have a fight without being jerks about it.
Okay, everyone gets into it…
Then you’ve got someone who wants to be involved if you and your partner can quarrel and truly attempt to hear one other out without hurling harsh accusations or the family cat at each other. However, if the two of you genuinely attempt to work things out until you get to an understanding or acceptance of the other, even if you don’t fully understand or accept one other, you will have a relationship that is well of your time and effort.
If you and your partner really want each other to feel heard and appreciated, and you both make time to discuss difficulties, you have been blessed with a partner who has your heart and back. Also, it is never acceptable to chuck the family cat out the window. Cats make better mates than couples in many cases…
3. Your partner understands and communicates your love language
A partner who understands your love language and strives to make you happy via gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time and other means indicates that he or she is committed to keeping the love flowing in your relationship. A spouse who understands what makes you happy and who makes an effort to keep you smiling is a true blessing and a treasure to have. If you are able to respond in your spouse’s love language, you and your relationship have incredible potential together.
4. Your partner expresses a desire to be committed.
He’s not going to play games with you. She isn’t both hot and frigid at the same time. Having a partner who believes that a commitment to you is important and is prepared to try and take a risk on becoming closer to you is a sign that they want you and are eager to build a life with you.
5.In PEN, You Have A Scheduled Appointment
Someone who has real potential is one who collaborates on ideas with you in pen, rather than pencil, rather than on paper. Even if this individual travels or lives a considerable distance away from you, the spouse who takes the effort to accommodate your schedule and children is a mate with whom you can have a long-term relationship and be happy with.
6. Your partner has a strong desire to learn more about you.
Someone who is really inquisitive about you and who cares about you will always be interested in knowing more about you, no matter how old you are. Remember that a good relationship is comprised of two people who desire to grow as individuals as well as as a pair in their partnership. A partner who takes pleasure in seeing your growth and learning about you is one who is committed to spending years with you rather than just a few weeks.
7. You Have a Pleasant Mood Your New Relationship with This New Partner
If you can be yourself while yet feeling comfortable, you have received the incredible gift of love. Keep it close to your heart. Take good care of it while you have it in your hands. That type of comfort is an indication that you and your partner may have genuine long-term compatibility. Yes, this will go on indefinitely.
We all want that happily ever after—and not the happily ever after that we had before, which was “happily ever after…psych!” However, in order to get that happy ending with someone, you may have to kiss a lot of non-committing, lazy, wrong, and cruel toads. Prepare your chapstick and pucker up your face as you seek for your Kermit…
9 divorce warning signs
It caught the whole world by surprise when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt announced their intentions to divorce. If six children, outstanding jobs, charity work, and worldwide renown can’t make for a long-lasting partnership or avoid “irreconcilable differences,” then what can?
Getting a fragmented relationship back on track is certainly possible; this is why it’s important to understand the indicators of a failing relationship.
‘Love is dead,’ says social media in response to the Brangelina split
How can you tell whether your marriage is on the verge of disintegrating and ending in divorce? Here are nine tell-tale symptoms that it may be time to seek professional relationship assistance:
1. You are dissatisfied.
When you’re in a good relationship, you’re generally content with your situation. Every couple has conflicts and fights, but for the most part, things are calm and tranquil in their relationship.
If the majority of the time your spouse is unreliable or shut-down, critical or hostile, you may want to consider separating. Alternatively, do you believe your spouse is unresponsive, lethargic, or inept, and you are unable to communicate effectively? Being unhappy is a clear indication that things aren’t working out for you anymore.
Secondly, the majority of your encounters are negative.
According to John Gottman, a marriage researcher, happy couples have an interaction ratio of 20:1, which means they experience 20 pleasant encounters for every one bad contact. Couples in conflict had a 5:1 negative to positive interaction ratio, whereas couples on the verge of divorce have an.8:1 negative to positive interaction ratio, indicating a nearly equal proportion of negative to positive interactions.
You should be concerned if you are more negative than optimistic for an extended period of time with no indication of progress in your situation.
3. You come up with excuses to ignore your lover.
When you get home from work and notice your partner’s automobile parked outside the house, do you prefer to stay in the car rather than entering the house? Do you find yourself wishing you had more time to spend with your friends or family members? This might be an indication that things have drastically shifted on your end of the table.
You are being pressured by your friends and family to leave the relationship.
If a large number of your friends or family members dislike your spouse and advise you to leave your relationship (on the grounds that you’ll be better off), take heed! Your closest friends and family members care about you and may be able to see things clearly even when you are unable to.
5. Your instincts are urging you to leave the building.
The fact that your stomach is continually in a knot might be your gut sense communicating with you. For those who are unsure whether or not they should proceed, consult with close friends or family members, as well as with an expert or therapist who can help you assess the benefits and drawbacks.
6. You and your roommate share a space.
For example, he may sleep in one room while you sleep in another. When he returns home after a lengthy vacation, you’re scarcely aware that he’s there, and you barely recognize each other. You lead different lives, and you’re both quite content with the fact that you’re not together.
7. Everything is difficult.
Almost every encounter is either a chore or a horrible experience. Everything is tough and dramatic, whether it’s deciding what to serve the kids for breakfast or deciding who should go on another guys’ weekend. The dialogues are controversial, unpleasant, angry, and even hostile at several points.
8. One or both of them has shifted their values or priorities.
When partners are in a healthy relationship, they share the same ‘major’ values. People might change with time, and what they formerly valued may no longer be important to them.
One spouse may get obsessed with a new religion or lifestyle, which compels the other partner to adapt to the new way of life. One spouse wants to relocate across the nation for a work opportunity, while the other wishes to remain in their current location for their own professional development.
A difficult obstacle to overcome unless both parties are capable of adapting to big changes such as these.
9. There is a sudden shift in one’s personality.
When one spouse suddenly loses a significant amount of weight and shows a newfound interest in their looks, as well as begins to spend a significant amount of time away from home, it is possible that there is a ‘outside motive’ for this.
