5 Safe Dating Tips for Newly Singles
My divorce a few years ago resulted in my matching with an attractive man from my neighborhood on a dating website. We started contacting one other very soon after we met.
As a result of our shared geographical proximity, he recommended that we get together for a short drink that evening. As a result of the short notice, I was apprehensive about attending, so I sought advice from a friend. Despite the fact that she believed everything would be OK, she proposed that we first talk on the phone, which he agreed to do. I judged that he sounded normal (whatever that means) after just a few minutes, less than five minutes to be precise, and agreed to meet with him.
He turned out to be completely normal, which was fortunate for me. Furthermore, it is pleasant! My buddy (also a single mother) who had given me the go-ahead for a last-minute date did not know that everything was OK since I had forgotten. Following a period of time in which I failed to respond to her repeated calls and messages, she became alarmed and got the assistance of a mutual friend to contact me at the restaurant where I was having a drink to ensure that I was still alive and well.
Embarrassing? Yes. Overkill? Debatable. After all, when we meet someone online for the first time, we don’t know much about them, if anything at all! In this particular instance, the individual turned out to be completely innocuous to the situation. (It came out that he was also the soon-to-be ex-husband of another buddy. Awkward…)
As a result, I have established a few dating guidelines for myself in order to avoid having this happen again in the future, as well as to avoid any other potentially compromising circumstances, such as placing myself in danger. The following rules, although not failsafe, I have found to be helpful in making my dating experience more pleasant, if not fruitful. You can see them right here!
The first step is to set up a phone call.
Some of the comments I’ve heard on this subject range from: you need to meet in person to tell whether there’s mutual attraction to others; some individuals do not communicate well over the telephone; and how much more enjoyable it is to meet someone on the spur of the moment; The fact that I can make a phone call saves me the time, effort, and money of flying to see someone in person I have no interest in dating, despite the fact that all of these arguments are valid.
Many things may be determined during that first phone contact, including if their family and living environment are a good fit for me and, in the most basic sense, whether I like conversing with them and want to learn more about them. Your best bet is probably a bit more than five minutes (wink, wink).
2. Be cautious about disclosing too much personal information about yourself.
Individuals may, of course, express themselves in whatever manner they wish during a phone conversation, much of which you have no means of validating, particularly in terms of their mental state. Therefore, you should make it a point to keep certain aspects about your personal and professional lives confidential.
Make an informed decision. You should avoid giving away your home address if you are chatting to someone with whom you have no prior relationship. In most cases, mentioning where you reside in the city is acceptable if you have mutual connections. The key is to be conscious of the information you are disclosing and to whom it is being disclosed..
Allow someone to be aware of your plans for the day. 3.
Maintain contact with that individual to let him or her know you are safe. It is possible that if I had adhered to this rule on the occasion mentioned above, I may have prevented the bartender alerting me in front of the person I was with that I had a phone call, which made me feel like Norm from Cheers. Keep in contact with your friends and family, regardless of whether or not you are in danger.
4. Convene in a well-lit area.
The presence of other persons should be assumed while meeting in public. It happened to me once that a man approached me and asked if I would like to go for an early evening stroll in a park that I had never visited before in a town that I had never been before. We appreciate your consideration, but we decline. If you’re not comfortable in a place, stay away from it. Don’t bother going if the person you’re planned to meet doesn’t agree with your viewpoint.
5 – Maintain your composure under pressure.
Being on a date is all about being more acquainted with another individual. As a result of your lack of familiarity with that individual, you may be unaware of their triggers. It’s important to keep track of how much you’re drinking since conversations may shift rapidly, particularly if alcohol is involved.
And not everyone is adept at dealing with failure. It happened to me once that, despite my politeness, the person I was with got the impression that I wasn’t interested in seeing him again and berated me through text message minutes after we parted. Although I was grateful for obeying Rules 2, 3, 4, and 5, I was disappointed that I had not followed Rule 1. The date would very certainly not have occurred if I hadn’t done so. However, neither would have this list if they had one.
