5 dating Red Flags of Narcissists for Green Flags
When it comes to dating, there are some “green flags” that should be avoided at all costs since they are essentially red flags for a narcissist. Perhaps the last one will take you by surprise.
Some people believe that love bombing is the same as “finally” finding your soulmate.
During the first stages of a dating relationship, the majority of individuals believe that an excessive amount of love, attention, and touch is an indication that the relationship is progressing. However, there is a difference between pure want and curiosity and the practice of love bombing, which involves simulating the future, mirroring, and fast-forwarding. In contrast, the former might develop into an all-consuming fire that goes out very rapidly, while the latter is often more of a steady and organic burn.
The majority of the time, those who love-bomb you are not seeking anything genuine for the long run. Certain people are bombarding you with love in the goal of getting you into bed or an exploitative relationship. You should be suspicious of anybody who contacts you an excessive amount during the early stages of dating, who helps you envisage a future with them at an early stage, and who appears to share all of your hobbies, interests, and aspirations unexpectedly.
Even when it is terrible and brutal, honesty is the best path.
Even when a possible relationship partner has delivered a message that is intended to be hurtful, we often hear the comment, “At least they’re honest!” This is a common recognition that we frequently hear. When it comes to narcissists, “honesty” without empathy is brutal, and it’s not even very honest most of the time.
There is a feeling of significance and importance that narcissistic and psychopathic people find in giving you grief. All of this will be done in the name of “just being honest,” which implies that they will fabricate falsehoods, misrepresent your actual attributes, and project their wrongdoings onto you. Be careful not to fall into this trap. You should be truthful with yourself when you see that their cruel behavior is a major warning sign, and you should also be aware that their lack of empathy and callousness will only multiply as the relationship progresses.
One who has a “quirky” sense of humor.
Every single one of us is looking for a companion who has a strong sense of humor—someone with whom we can engage in witty banter, someone who makes us laugh, and someone who also loves our jokes. Despite this, the normalization of “bullying” comedy has the potential to cause us to forget that there are particular varieties of humor that are more harmful than others.
Using sarcasm to harass and humiliate other people regularly, for instance, is a possible indicator of psychopathy, according to a study. When someone is constantly sarcastic and contemptuous, it is a significant warning sign that they are dealing with someone who will make you the target of their jokes. A little bit of sarcasm here and there as a decorative element may not be harmful.
a disproportionate amount of openness and “vulnerability.”
When it comes to dating, vulnerability has become so ingrained in our culture that it has surpassed the need to maintain healthy boundaries and protect one’s privacy. Someone who is sometimes prone to oversharing or who is seeking to find a witness to their misery is not the same as a narcissist who exposes all of their trauma and sob tales (whether they are true or not) at the beginning. The narcissist does this for far more criminal motives.
If you find yourself on a date with someone who begins talking about the problems they had throughout their upbringing or their unfaithful ex (in the case of a narcissist, they were the ones who often cheated), you should pay attention to what kind of conversation they are having.
In order to exert influence over you, they could be attempting to portray themselves as the victim from an early stage. To determine which wounds they may use against you in the future as ammo, they may also dig into your traumatic experiences in a strangely mechanical manner. It is not necessary to feel forced to disclose your traumatic experiences with a stranger or to projectile-vomit everything that has ever gone wrong in your life to establish genuine closeness. From there, you may gradually work up to sharing more personal information when you are in the most comfortable state.
one who has a large number of intimate friendships with people of the opposing sex (or the same sex, depending on their sexual orientation).
The idea that every person who is dating is going to have suspiciously close friends of the opposite sex (or they will have friends of the same sex, depending on their sexual orientation) is another facet of contemporary romance that has become much too conventional. Both narcissism and psychopathy are linked to the act of inducing jealousy or arousing jealousy, which is something that should be taken into consideration.
On the other hand, if you disregard dodgy conduct between a dating partner and his or her so-called “close friends” to try to seem safe and mature, you could be perceiving it as too much of a green signal. There is nothing wrong with having friendships that are pure and unrequited. It is important to keep in mind that this is not about your vulnerability; rather, it is about fundamental respect.
If you see conduct that causes you to feel uneasy, it is important to pay attention to your instincts and evaluate your limits. And don’t forget that you have the right to feel at ease in a relationship in which the list of friends of the other person does not include former lovers or people who could become romantically interested in you. Run away as quickly as you can in the other direction if the person you are seeing is encouraging envy by using his close friends against you. Always remember that you will never have to fight for someone who is genuinely deserving of you.
excessive interest in spirituality and the views that you have toward spirituality for yourself.
Currently, we are living in a delightful period in which spirituality may take numerous forms and can be found in a variety of religions. When someone shares your spiritual values or is at the very least interested in learning more about them, it might seem like a significant green flag to recognize them as a potential partner.
If, on the other hand, you discover that a possible romantic partner is questioning you about your spiritual views in a manner that seems excessive and suspicious, you should be aware that there may be a covert strategy behind this behavior. When narcissists and psychopaths ask you about your spiritual beliefs, they evaluate your ability to forgive them and how ready you are to go to great lengths for them, even after they have caused you pain.
This is because they exploit your empathy, spirituality, and compassion against you. Can you help? Whatever your spiritual beliefs may be, you should make sure that they come with a sound set of boundaries that are impenetrable at all times. “We are all one,” “Forgiveness is the way,” and “Offer to sing kumbaya with them” are all phrases that you should avoid using with possible dating partners. You should not make an offer to read tarot cards for them, inquire about their birth chart, or enthusiastically imply that they are your twin flame (or subscribe to their assertions that they are yours).
Talk about how you find it inspiring because faith reminds you of your divinity and all the things that you deserve. Instead, express it casually. If the person you are dating is a male, you should confess to them that God is a female and see how they respond.
Your religion and spirituality should not prevent you from holding someone responsible, and you should always share instances that demonstrate this. In the end, the most spiritual thing you can do for yourself and other people is to confront a bully and stand up to them. Getting a date is not an exception.
