3 easy ways to Assist Children Through Their Grief
Regardless of one’s age or position in life, grieving is a difficult emotional process for everyone to go through. However, discussing the truth of death with a youngster or adolescent may be very difficult. It’s difficult enough to figure out how to assist yourself, much alone figure out what to say and how to console a youngster who is experiencing pain.
So, where do you even begin?
For each individual, the process of developing to live with the reality of loss looks different. As a result, children’s emotions will change based on their personalities, ages, and developmental stages.
Because many youngsters are unfamiliar with the concept of death, you may be shocked if they express mourning over someone with whom they had no strong emotional attachment. It’s critical to acknowledge and affirm a child’s emotional journey rather than just telling them to “get through it.” It is important to be as patient as possible and to pay careful attention to any changes in behavior or mood.
In the event that you detect any of the following behaviors in your kid, it is possible that they are struggling with the mourning process.
Sleep and eating routines that have shifted
Early childhood traits such as separation anxiety are being regressed.
There has been talk of wanting to be with the departed.
Playing with pals is not something I like doing.
Changes in grades or in the way students behave at school
They have lost interest in activities that formerly piqued their attention.
Because a kid is continually learning and developing, it is possible that they may go through the grieving process more than once.
If they have lost a close friend or family, they may experience sadness or nostalgia during various milestones in their lives, such as birthdays, graduations, proms, and other social gatherings.
Despite the fact that they may discover constructive methods to make sense of their loss and feel proud of the person they have become, this does not lessen the intensity of their feelings.
By expressing your own sentiments and recollections at holidays or key events, you might serve as an example of this form of meaning-making. In this section, we’ll look at some more constructive techniques for supporting young people through this process.
Make Use of Your Imagination
While many young people may feel comfortable merely talking about the death of a loved one, others may benefit from engaging in creative activities rather than simply talking about it.
When children suffer a loss, they may express their feelings by engaging in activities such as playing with dolls or figures, producing or listening to music, painting and sketching, or even journaling about their experiences.
Meet a kid where they are, and if they aren’t ready to communicate, provide different means of expressing yourself to them. Given the fact that many very young children may not have the language ability to convey their precise ideas or feelings, give them the room and chance to discover alternative means of expressing themselves. It’s crucial to remember that you should never push a youngster to participate in an activity. Allow them to pick what seems right to them.
Look for Opportunities to Develop Relationships.
The loss of a key person in a child’s life is a chance for them to develop existing connections and, in some cases, to meet new individuals who may provide support throughout their grieving process. Perhaps they will find comfort and camaraderie with other children who have experienced the same loss, or with an older sibling who understands what they are going through.
Friends, family, teachers, coaches, counselors, and spiritual leaders may all provide encouragement and serve as role models for children who are experiencing difficulties.
As an alternative to implying that anybody may “replace” the person they have lost, you might begin the subject by asking a simple question. Consider the following question:
“Who do you believe would be aware of how you’re feeling and would be interested in talking about it?” Some of the connections that give the greatest assistance for a grieving kid may take you by surprise.
Tell the truth .
Children should be allowed to ask whatever questions they wish about sadness and loss without being embarrassed. However, if your words and nonverbal cues show that you are uncomfortable, they may be hesitant to express their sentiments to you as well.
Additionally, if they get the impression that you are trying to dodge the truth or divert their attention away from their queries, they may acquire the view that talking about loss is taboo, or they may believe that they must figure out how to make sense of their own loss. Your kid will benefit from your honesty and candor about loss, and he or she will emerge from the experience stronger and more resilient.
Finally, it’s critical to think about how you might seek the help of others in your community. A young kid who is grieving should never have to feel like they are on their own when dealing with the questions and behaviors that come up.
Never be afraid to seek help from your doctor, a mental health professional, school counselors, or spiritual leaders if you need it. Involve friends and family members who have gone through similar situations. Make a list of the community organizations and services that can be of use to your family and your kid.
Keep this in mind. To help your kid remember that he or she is never alone, you must demonstrate to them that you are also never alone. Demonstrate to them that sometimes life is about relying on others who can provide support when you are grieving.
3 easy ways to Assist Children Through Their Grief
Even if they don’t grasp it, generally young children are aware of death. Death is a popular topic in cartoons and television, and some of your child’s peers may have already experienced the loss of a loved one.
For children, though, experiencing loss personally is a separate and sometimes perplexing experience. You can’t shield a kid from the sorrow of loss as a parent, but you can make him feel protected. You may also assist him in developing healthy coping skills that will benefit him in the future by allowing and encouraging him to express his emotions.
3 easy ways to Assist Children Through Their Grief
Grief affects children in various ways.
A youngster may swing from sobbing one minute to playing the next after losing a loved one. His mood swings don’t indicate he’s not sad or that he’s overjoyed; children deal in different ways than adults, and playing might be a protective strategy to keep a youngster from being overwhelmed. It’s also natural to feel sad, guilty, frightened, or furious at the person who died, or at someone else completely.
Children as young as three years old may regress and begin wetting the bed again, or revert to baby language.
Encourage a mourning youngster to communicate his or her emotions.
It is beneficial for children to communicate any feelings they are experiencing. There are a lot of fantastic children’s books about dying, and reading them with your kid might be a terrific way to start a dialogue.
Drawing drawings, making a scrapbook, going through photo albums, and telling tales are all beneficial outlets for youngsters who are unable to communicate their feelings verbally.
Follow developmentally appropriate guidelines.
It’s difficult to predict how a toddler will respond to death, or even if he will comprehend the notion. Don’t give out too much information since it might be overwhelming. Instead, attempt to respond to his inquiries.
Young children frequently may not understand that death is permanent, and they may believe that if they perform their duties and eat their veggies, a deceased loved one would return. “Children understand that death is awful, and they don’t enjoy separation,” says aspsychiatrist Gail Saltz, MD. “But the notion of ‘forever’ is simply not there.”
School-aged children are more aware of death’s finality, although they may still have many questions. Make every effort to respond honestly and clearly. It’s OK if you can’t answer everything; what counts is that you be accessible to your youngster.
Make a straightforward statement.
Never use euphemisms while addressing death. It might be frightening for children to learn that a loved one “went to sleep.” Euphemisms not only make your kid fearful of night, but they also prevent him from developing healthy coping skills that he will need in the future.
Attending the memorial service
Attending the funeral or not is a personal choice that you and your kid must make together. Funerals may be beneficial in terms of bringing closure, but some youngsters aren’t ready for such a traumatic event.
A youngster should never be forced to attend a funeral. If your kid wants to go, make sure he is aware of what he may encounter. Explain that funerals are highly sad events, and that some people will most likely weep. You should also prepare him for a coffin if one will be used.
Remember that even the most well-prepared youngster might get unhappy, and his behavior is unpredictable. “Kids will not act in the manner you want or anticipate,” says Dr. Saltz. “If you feel that a funeral isn’t the ideal way to say goodbye, there are alternative options.” Planting a tree, sharing tales, or releasing balloons may all be effective ways to give a kid closure.
Considering the possibility of an afterlife
According to Dr. Saltz, the concept of a hereafter may be quite comforting to a bereaved youngster. Now is a good moment to express your religious thoughts on the hereafter. Even if you aren’t religious, you may give your kid peace by explaining that a person’s memory lives on in the hearts and thoughts of others. You may also create a scrapbook or plant a memorial to the person you’ve lost.
Don’t put off dealing with your own sadness.
Children often copy their parents’ bereavement behavior. It’s crucial to express your feelings because it reassures youngsters that it’s alright to be sad or unhappy. Reacting violently or impulsively, on the other hand, teaches your kid destructive methods of coping with sadness.
Maintain a consistent schedule.
Routines provide enormous comfort to children, so if you need some alone time, try to locate relatives or friends who can assist you in keeping your child’s life as regular as possible. While it’s vital to mourn the loss of a loved one, it’s equally crucial for your kid to realize that life goes on.
a few unique circumstances
The loss of a pet will be many children’s first experience with death. Children have very close ties with their pets, and the loss of a family pet may be quite sad. Don’t downplay its significance or replace the deceased pet with a new one right away. Allow your youngster to mourn about his or her dog or cat instead. This is an excellent chance to educate your kid about death and how to grieve in a healthy and caring manner.
For young children, the loss of a grandparent is also a typical occurrence, and it may raise numerous worries, such as “Will my mom be next?” It is critical to inform your youngster that you will most likely live a long period.
Children will naturally be concerned about the death of the surviving parent or other caregivers after the loss of one parent. Assure a youngster that he is loved and will be looked after at all times.
It’s a good idea to depend on family members for more nurturing and care at this period. In the event of a major death, such as the loss of a parent or sibling, Dr. Saltz advises counseling. “When a youngster feels he can’t communicate to other family members because they are mourning as well, therapy gives another channel for communicating.”
Taking care of severe issues
If your kid seems especially disturbed and unable to deal with sorrow and loss, he might be suffering from adjustment disorder. After experiencing a traumatic or disruptive incident, some children develop adjustment disorder, which is a significant and stressful condition. If you believe your kid is not recuperating from a loss in a healthy manner, you should speak with his or her doctor.
3 easy ways to Assist Children Through Their Grief
