25 Tips for Becoming a Much Better Wife
After all, while you’re married with children and you have a successful business, the first thing that disappears from your daily routine is “you time.” The second item on the list is “you and him” time.
The good news is that it won’t take much to get the latter back on the right track again.
When it comes to marriage, according to the best relationship experts (and you should trust them! ), it’s the tiny things you do on a daily basis that may make the difference between a good marriage and a difficult one. So put these simple, very achievable acts to the test, and you’ll discover that they have the greatest possible influence on your aggregate satisfaction.
1.Tell him he’s a fantastic partner in bed.
If you haven’t said it before, this is the time. In the words of April Masini, relationship and etiquette expert and author: “Your spouse wants to be the finest companion you’ve ever had.” “As a result, make certain he understands who he is. It’s easy to lose sight of the importance of this. Make a deliberate effort to convey to him that he is a complete and utter stud.” After you’ve boosted his ego to the hilt, keep things interesting by experimenting with these 60 Sex Positions Every Couple Should Try.
2.Support His Friendships
The Heart Matters was founded by Karen Jones, a relationship specialist and the creator of The Heart Matters. “Men tend to give up their male buddies when they get married, which is unfortunate,” adds Jones. “One thing you can do to make your husband a better husband is to encourage him to socialize with other guys.
Women can’t provide them with what they need, but they may provide it for one another. It gives them greater freedom, less responsibility, and a significant rise in their energy levels. In addition, when they do get a boost, men are more likely to utilize it to make their spouses happy. It’s an unbelievable bargain!”
3.Disconnect from your phone(put it down)
Even if it’s just for a short period of time. According to Kelsey Matheson, a life coach, “When your spouse has something they want to speak about, put your phone down.”
“If you’re on the phone with someone who is attempting to speak with you, it’s quite rude to be checking your phone. Give your undivided attention to your spouse. He will see the difference it creates and will instantly feel more connected and valued as a result of this. You could even discover something new about your lover as a result of your entire attention being focused on him.”
4.Convince him to come home
“Your male needs to feel appreciated, loved, and respected,” advises Caroline Madden, Ph.D., an author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Burbank, California. “Your man wants to feel admired, adored, and respected.”
“Attempt to show him that you appreciate what he does on a conscious level. Allowing him to overhear you chatting to someone else about how much you love him and how grateful you are to be his wife is an excellent technique to do this.”
5.Give Him Some Personal Space
Men, on the other hand, are not typically as talkative as women, according to Dr. Venessa Marie Perry, founder and Chief Relationship Strategist at The Love Write. “As a result, when he returns home from work after a hard day, we expect to hear everything that happened. Men want to be able to unwind from their day before they begin engaged in conversation. Leave it up to him to initiate the discussion on his own. Allow him to take a deep breath.”
6.Support His Ambitions as a wife
“If he is interested in starting a new company, taking up a new activity, or beginning a new fitness program, support him to pursue his goals,” advises Patricia Bubash, a Licensed Professional Counselor. ” “In other terms, be his biggest supporter.”
7.Say “Yes” as his wife.
This is especially true if it is in response to anything you would ordinarily reply “no.” “After the courting era, couples typically become more honest with one another and reject to partake in potentially enjoyable activities together,” says Jared Heathman, MD, a psychiatrist practicing in Houston. “Begin saying yes more often and engage in new interests as a pair,” says the author.
8.Take A Breath Before You Criticize Your Wife.
Although it would be impossible to argue that you should never criticize your spouse, making sure that it is really required before doing so will help to reduce the amount of criticism you are giving him.
According to Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, creator of Relationup, “It is easy to slip into the habit of complaining to your spouse when they don’t follow through with things or don’t do things the way that you want them to,” she adds. “Watch for opportunities to criticize and ask yourself whether it is truly essential to say anything in a certain situation. If that’s the case, then go ahead. However, if it isn’t, bite your tongue and stop from doing it until it is. More appreciation and less criticism will make your spouse feel less attacked and more appreciative, which will result in him or her being more willing to step up and assist you.”
9.wife, get up before he does
This is especially true if you are a stay-at-home parent or work from your home office. “Make the coffee by brewing it. Come and join him in the shower, “Madden makes the suggestion.
Why? “Because even the most educated and loving guy becomes angry of having to leave his wife in the morning to go to work while she is still sleeping in,” says the author.
10.When faced with the choice between “Fight or Flight,” choose “Fight.”
“Arguments are often excellent icebreakers to get more positive conversation flowing with your spouse,” says Nicole Merritt, relationship expert and creator of jthreeNMe. “Arguments are often wonderful icebreakers to get more positive dialogue flowing with your spouse.” “Don’t shy away from a conflict. Take it on, but do it as gently and quietly as you possibly can. Consider your battling to be a healthy alternative to outright avoidance and passive antagonism, which are both harmful.”
11.Inspire him to be a healthy husband.
Of course, without pressuring him or her to do so. “Encouraging him to live a healthy lifestyle is beneficial to you as a partnership,” says Bubash. “If you are the primary chef, be sure to provide nutritious meals. Join a walking group or go to the gym together. I’ve seen many marriages where one partner has chosen to live a healthy lifestyle while the other does not, and as the pair reaches retirement age, resentment develops as one partner takes on the role of carer. We should all work together on this.” You’ll hopefully have many more years together to enjoy each other’s company in good health if you do things this way.
12.Do not reveal his secrets to anybody else, as a wife.
“If your spouse tells you anything in confidence, do not share that knowledge with anybody else—not even your closest friend,” advises Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW. Keep this in mind at all times, no matter how attractive or relevant it may seem at the time. “It might be challenging to be vulnerable and open up about one’s troubles with others. You must avoid betraying your husband’s confidence if he has allowed you to open out to him.”
13.Initiate Sex a his Wife
This is especially true if you don’t typically do it. In Dr. Perry’s opinion, “guys are frequently the initiators and like it when women take leadership in the bedroom.” “Show him what you’ve got in the bedroom and he’ll be surprised. He’ll be tempted to return for more.”
14.Conduct a gut check before you say anything hurtful as a good wife.
“It is normal for couples to get more comfortable with one another over a period of time,” adds Dr. Heathman. When you’re comfortable, you tend to talk frankly rather than gently, which isn’t always a good thing. The ability to “get real” with your spouse about anything is wonderful, but it’s also crucial not to be negative all of the time.
15.Cook him Dinner
If cooking isn’t your thing, there’s no need to prepare a large dinner every night. However, if you want to do something pleasant for your spouse, food is typically a safe idea. “Most men prefer a home-cooked supper,” Dr. Perry explains. “I’ve got supper ready to set the tone for a nice evening of relaxation.” It’s much superior than takeaway.
16.Bring His Mother to Lunch
And yes, even if she isn’t your favorite person on the face of the earth. “Even if you do little things to maintain a connection with her, such as writing letters to her or ensuring she has a pleasant birthday, it will demonstrate to your man that you are there for him and support him. You will be the most wonderful wife he has ever had, in his opinion “Jones expresses his thoughts.
17.Make Time for Him.
This one may seem self-explanatory, but life can become hectic. Give him an uninterrupted day or night of your attention. “Everyone of us needs praise and love,” adds Bubash. “If you are usually too busy to be affectionate or to set aside time for him, he may begin to seek elsewhere or to get disinterested.”
18.Congratulate Him as a good Wife
A little amount of positive reinforcement may go a long way. A complement, whether on his looks, profession, or personality, is a simple and efficient method to make someone feel good about himself. “Most men need acknowledgment and want to believe that their wives are aware of their efforts and thank them for them,” says Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a psychotherapist in Boulder, Colorado.
19.Set Aside a Night Away from Technology for Your hudsband
Instead of instantly turning on Netflix after the kids have gone to bed, Matheson proposes setting up a night when the television, iPads, and phones are all switched off. “Perhaps you’d want to cook together, cuddle up beneath a blanket and read to one another, or take a bath together. The sole regulation is that no electrical devices are permitted!”
20.Be his best friend, and vice versa
He most likely has a best friend, but there are some compelling reasons for you to perform in the role of best friend as well. As Vikki Ziegler, divorce attorney and author of The Pre-Marital Planner, writes, “Best friends love each other unreservedly, support one other unconditionally, and are loyal to a fault.” “Be that cheerleader for your husband so that he feels you are an unbreakable team no matter what, as this will open him up to being more vulnerable, honest, and loving.”
21.Have The Group Hangout with him
Irrespective of whether you adore everyone in his social group. In Masini’s opinion, “just because you don’t care for his pals doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out with them when he asks.” “Allow him to brag about you in front of his buddies. And even if you don’t care about them, do it for him. In a healthy relationship, partners take care of one other’s needs. Sacrifice fosters a sense of belonging.”
22.Forget about your pet peeves.
You know all those tiny qualities about your spouse that you thought were lovely when you first met him but that you now find insanely annoying? Sometimes, merely making an attempt to be less upset may have a profound effect on your state of mind. “Recognize that your significant other loves you enough to look beyond all of your perceived faults, eccentricities, and weaknesses,” Merritt advises. “Find some fresh respect for him as a result of this.”
23.Pick Up A Sex Toy
As Milrad says, “surprise your companion by introducing some unexpected originality to your lovemaking.” “Visit an adult shop and purchase a toy for him as well as a toy for yourself. Your lover will be overjoyed that you are mixing things up in your sex life and breaking out of your routine.”
24.Make Yourself a Priority
In Matheson’s words, “it may sound contradictory when we’re talking about relationships, but it is critical that a woman take time for herself if she is to be able to actually be there for her spouse.” “Book a massage for yourself, take a bubble bath with a glass of champagne, or sign up for a Zumba class if that’s what you like. Having showered yourself with love, you will be in a better position to shower your family and friends with love as well.”
25.Put the spotlight on him as a wife.
It’s simple to ask someone how their day was and then immediately get into telling them about your own day. Instead, once in a while, attempt to make the discussion solely about him. “Asking your partner how they are doing sometimes without even expressing your own personal difficulties helps you to be absolutely open and lets them know you are fully there to listen to them,” Hershenson adds.
26.Allow Him to Select
Everything, even the smallest details, like what to have for supper or how to spend your Sunday afternoon, matters. “Many women become such micromanagers (because we have to handle careers and families), that we end up micromanaging everything—including where to eat, what movie to watch, what color to paint the walls in the bedroom, and so on.” Bubash makes a remark. “Allow your spouse to be involved in such decisions.”
