The use of direct language regarding bodily parts and the implementation of a no-secrets policy may help safeguard young children without frightening them.
There are many safety precautions that we educate our young children.
We educate children to be cautious around a hot stove, and we train them to look both ways before crossing a busy street intersection. However, bodily safety is seldom taught until a child is much older — and, in some cases, until it is too late.
A study by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) indicates that about 1 out of every six boys and nearly 1 out of every four girls are sexually assaulted before reaching the age of eighteen. Looking for something even more terrifying? According to the National Society for the Prevention of Kid Abuse and Neglect (nsopw.org), just 10% of offenders were strangers to the child, while 23% were children themselves!
It is not surprising to me that these numbers exist. The children who have been sexually abused come into my office on a weekly basis, and I treat them as such. They range in age from five to ten years old in certain cases. It is almost certain that they were aware of their attacker, who is almost always another child.
Parents often tell me that they didn’t believe anything like this could happen to their child or their family. Ensure that they never leave their children in the care of anybody other than themselves. Ensure that they constantly have a clear view of their children.
Play dates with friends are something your children may enjoy. Attending childcare or pre-school is a possibility.
When do you invite friends and family members over to your home? If so, do they go over to the neighbor’s place to play? The reality is that you will never be able to completely eliminate the possibility of your kid being victimized by sexual assault.
Almost all of the children I’ve worked with have come from well-established communities and families, and they attend very reputable schools. Working with children who have been sexually assaulted on play dates, at sleepovers, in the classroom, on the playground, on the school bus, in their playroom, and in their garden have been some of my most rewarding experiences.
Let’s get you back down from the edge of the cliff now that I’ve officially frightened you to death. To enable our children to engage with others in their environment, we must allow them to leave the house. But by providing them with information, we can increase their chances of avoiding becoming a victim of crime.
Families don’t usually speak about bodily safety with their children at a young age. Because they believe that children are yet too young It’s much too frightening to think about. Nonetheless, it is never too soon to initiate such a discussion, and it does not need to be frightening. Here are some things that you may do to make your kid less susceptible to sexual exploitation:
1. Discuss bodily parts as soon as possible after conception.
As soon as possible, identify and discuss bodily components. Whenever possible, use appropriate names for bodily parts, or at the very least educate your kid what the real terms are for the body parts that they are familiar with. The number of young children with whom I have worked over the years who have referred to their vagina as their “bottom” is impossible to count. Being confident in using these terms and understanding what they imply may assist a kid in speaking plainly if anything improper has occurred in his or her environment.
2. Emphasize to them that certain bodily parts are reserved for their use.
Inform your kid that their private parts are referred to as private since they are not visible to the general public (or other children). Explain to them that although mother and daddy may see them nude, people outside the house should only see them with their clothes on and that they should not be seen naked. Explain how their doctor is able to view them without their clothes on since their mother and father are around them and the doctor is inspecting their body parts.
3.Encourage your kid to understand his or her physical limitations.
Communicate to your kid in a straightforward manner that no one should touch their private parts and that no one should ask them to touch another person’s private parts. The second half of this statement is frequently forgotten by parents. The offender often initiates sexual assault by requesting the kid to touch them or someone else in their presence.
4. Advise your kid that sharing private information about one’s own body is not permitted.
The majority of abusers will instruct the kid to keep the abuse a secret from his or her parents. In a pleasant manner, for example, “I like playing with you, but if anybody else finds out what we were up to, they will not allow me to come over again.” Alternatively, it may be seen as a threat:
“This is our secret.” In the event that you tell anybody, I will inform them that it was your idea, and you will face severe consequences!” Inform your children that, no matter what anybody says them, keeping a body secret is never acceptable, and that they should always tell you if someone attempts to force them to keep a body hidden from them.
Inform your kid that no one is permitted to photograph their intimate areas.
Parents often overlook this one. PEDophiles who like photographing and trading nude youngsters on the internet have created a whole nasty subculture. This is an epidemic, and your kid is at danger as a result of this pandemic.
Discourage your children from having their private parts photographed by anybody.
6. Teach your kid how to get out of frightening or unpleasant circumstances by modeling this behavior for him/her.
Some youngsters, particularly older peers and adults, are uncomfortable with the concept of saying “no.” Instill confidence in them that it is acceptable to inform an adult when anything seems improper is taking place, and assist them in finding the right words to get them out of uncomfortable circumstances. You should teach your kid that if anybody approaches them and inquires about their private parts, they should politely decline and excuse themselves to use the restroom.
7. Have a code word that your children may use if they feel uncomfortable or if they want to be picked up by an adult.
If you have children who are a little older, you may teach them a code word they can use to communicate when they are feeling threatened or uncomfortable. This may be utilized at home, when there are visitors in the house, or when they are on a play date or a sleepover with their friends and relatives.
If they reveal you a bodily secret, assure them that they will never get into trouble for it!
Children often tell me that they didn’t say anything because they were afraid that they would go into trouble as well as their parents. When committing crimes, the offender often appeals to his or her fear. Make it clear to your kid that, no matter what occurs, if they tell you anything about their body safety or body secrets, they will never be punished for it.
9.Describe how a body contact may tickle or feel pleasant to your kid in number
However, many parents and books speak about “good touch” and “bad touch.” This is difficult to understand since many of the “good touch” touches do not hurt or feel unpleasant. Although I like the phrase “hidden touch,” I believe it is a more realistic representation of what may occur.
Instruct your children on the importance of these principles in all situations, including those with individuals they are familiar with and with other children.
Discussion with your kid about this is really essential.
The majority of the time, when you ask a small kid what a “bad person” looks like, they will describe a cartoonish villain. For example, you might explain, “Mommy and daddy may touch your private areas when we are washing you or if you need cream — but no one else should touch you there.” Friends, relatives and uncles, teachers and coaches are not among those who can help you out.
It doesn’t matter whether you like them or believe they are in control; they should never touch your intimate parts.”
It is unrealistic to expect that these talks would completely eliminate sexual abuse, but information is a strong deterrent when it comes to young children, who are particularly vulnerable because of their innocence and lack of understanding in this area.
In addition, one debate is insufficient.. Utilize natural opportunities to reinforce these lessons, like as bath time or when they are running about nude. Also, please forward this post to people you love and care about in order to assist me in spreading the message of bodily safety! –
