10 Ways to Build Mental Strength for Life’s Challenges
It is not necessary to be “tough” in order to navigate life’s actual problems. It requires attentiveness, dexterity, and an understanding of one’s own thinking. We asked experts to respond to the most frequently asked questions on developing mental strength. Make use of these tactics to raise the degree of your grit.
Is it possible to get physically stronger while remaining in your mental comfort zone?
According to Men’s Health fitness director Ebenezer Samuel, C.S.C.S., “The body can only adapt if it is presented with new difficulties,” and “new tasks will not always be pleasant.” So, in a nutshell, no. Your mind will adjust to the pain as well, and you will gain in both mental and physical strength as a result of the experience.
The key is to begin with a tiny amount of money. Each week, Samuel suggests adding one more rep to whatever objective you’re pursuing. This may be performing one more pushup rep each set, adding one more minute to your daily run, or maintaining a plank for one more second.
Failure is something I despise. Is there a way to quit ruminating about what went wrong in the first place.
Think like Michael Jordan and you’ll succeed. Because he has missed more than 9,000 shots, according to his own calculations, he believes he is a failure. It has been reported that he has been trusted to make the game winning shot twenty-six times, and each time he has failed to do so. Over and over and over again throughout my life, I’ve come up short.
I’m curious how he got on with his life. In the meanwhile, he continued on. When you make a mistake, you are just receiving feedback that you are off track, explains Lisa Stephen, Ph.D., a professional, personal, and sports performance coach who is also the owner of Ignite Peak Performance in Vermont. Utilize that information to narrow down on what you should do next. “
You should then forget about it. Think about flushing it down the toilet or blowing it up like a balloon to symbolize your release. You must move on from your error and build on what you have learnt as a result. It is impossible to perform at your peak while concentrating on your lowest points,” says the author.
Does making a gratitude list help me to let go of negativity?
Yes, through contributing to the well-being of another. “Practicing acts of kindness is a proactive strategy to eliminating envy and negativity,” explains Tracey Marks, M.D., a psychiatrist at Marks Psychiatry in Atlanta. Complimenting and providing good feedback to others is a great place to start. If you’re feeling really giving, consider paying it forward at a coffee shop or drive-through window. Several studies have shown that actions of generosity are associated with increased activity in the parts of the brain involved for feelings of pleasure.
If donating causes you to get irritated (for example, “what about my needs?”), Dr. Marks recommends practicing appreciation without the list. Taking only a few minutes every morning to reflect on what you are thankful for may make a big difference!
There is no way I can keep up with my job. What can I do to prevent burnout without falling farther down the corporate hierarchy?
Many individuals find it easy to use the word “no,” whereas others find it more difficult. Employers and customers are wary of those who don’t utilize it because they are concerned about losing chances or being seen as uncooperative. Sometimes the opposite is true in reality.
In the words of Elizabeth Day, producer of the How to Fail podcast and author of Failosophy, “My experience has been that when I say no, my worth grows.” “Once you respect yourself, it is easier for others to do so as well.” In any case, saying “I’m unable to do any additional projects” is a lot less difficult to say than saying “I’m unable to handle this work anymore.
Because I’m a horrible procrastinator, let me tell you about myself: Can you tell me how I can have a little extra pep in my step?
Allow yourself to let go of the notion of being “inspired” or needing to be “in the zone” in order to do the tasks at hand.. When it comes to getting work done, there will never be a good time, and if you wait for the proper moment, you’ll be waiting a long time.
James Clear, author of the best-selling book Atomic Habits, recommends setting a timeline rather than a deadline for completing a project. If life gets in the way of what you need to accomplish, scale down the scope of the task—spend 10 minutes on it instead of the 30 you’d planned—but always keep to the timetable you set. Do not allow yourself the option of skipping it, however tempting.
When a loved one passes away, I find it difficult to remain strong for the sake of my family. Exactly what am I supposed to do?
Being “strong” does not imply that one must suppress one’s feelings or cry in private. Doctor Marks believes that one of the best ways to demonstrate strength is to be fearless in sharing one’s pain. The people who rely on you will turn to you as a role model for how to deal with their own problems while everyone is suffering. Holding back your emotions may be sending the message that sadness is something to be ashamed of. You must express your emotions in order to be strong.
Frequently, reading the news causes me to get irritated and even angry. In order to reset, please follow these instructions.
Because of the sense of pessimism and unfairness that the news might elicit, it’s unsurprising that people are stressed by it. In order to cope with upsetting news, psychiatrist Gregory Scott Brown, M.D. suggests setting up boundaries around how you get it and finding individuals with whom to have meaningful discussions about it. Being confronted with disturbing news may send your body into overdrive, so do something to decompress, such as meditation or at the very least watching an entertaining non-news, non-dramatic program to distract yourself.
Alternately, you may swap out passive news consumption for active conversation. Eugene Ellis, the founder and director of the Black, African, and Asian Therapy Network, uses the Black Lives Matter movement as an example of how interacting with others can be beneficial to one’s mental health. In addition, knowing what measures to do might be beneficial. “It serves as an antidote to the emotions of impotence that many of us are experiencing.” It is only when you begin to participate that you realize that behind the despair there is connection. Once you’ve established a relationship, it becomes much simpler to choose what you should do.”
Running an ultramarathon is what I’m planning. Is it true that the mind has the upper hand over the body?
Extreme endurance races, says Michael Wardian, who is one of only three individuals to have completed the Leadville 100-mile/Pikes Peak marathon combination. “Ultras are probably 90 percent mental and ten percent physical,” he adds (and who also won the 2020 Backyard Ultra, an intense race mentally and physically).
You need a strong reason to complete an ultramarathon or any other endurance accomplishment, says the author. In addition to jogging for social media, he recommends doing it for your children or to prove something to yourself. Furthermore, it is beneficial to:. Make use of “chunking,” which is the practice of establishing minor objectives such as reaching the next mailbox or assistance station. When it comes to building mental strength, you don’t necessarily have to be out jogging. According to him, you should get used to doing things that make you feel awkward. Set an alarm for 4:00 a.m., or simply get up and wash the dishes.
Meditation is not something I am capable of doing. Is there an other approach to reduce my stress?
Doctor Marks adds that yoga is a great technique to de-stress and that it is especially beneficial for those who are unable to sit still for lengthy periods of time to meditate. Stress-reduction effects are delivered in two ways by this supplement: Like meditation, you concentrate on your breathing, which may help you feel more relaxed.
As she adds, “you may ease stress by extending tight muscles.” Yogic practice does not need flexibility, and there are several virtual possibilities available for those who want to participate in it. Alo Moves and Apple Fitness+ are two of our favorite apps. Yoga courses are available at both locations, ranging from one-hour stress busters to ten-minute yoga snacks. In addition, meditation is well worth your time and effort, so stick with it.) To make it less monotonous, use an app such as Calm, Headspace, or Ten Percent Happier.
Strengthening Students’ Minds
Mentally robust children and adolescents, like adults, are capable of dealing with issues, rebounding from failure, and coping with life’s obstacles and difficulties. They are tenacious and have the bravery and belief in themselves to achieve their greatest potential.
It is just as necessary, if not more important, to build mental power in kids as it is to develop mental strength in adults. Helping children acquire mental strength, according to Morin (2018), necessitates a three-pronged strategy that includes teaching them how to:
Substitute good, realistic ideas with negative ones.
Control their emotions instead of allowing them to control their emotions.
Take action that is beneficial.
Though there are numerous tactics, disciplining techniques, and instructional tools that may help children develop mental muscle, here are ten that can help pupils gain the strength they need to grow into intellectually strong adults:
1. Instruct on certain abilities.
Discipline should be about teaching children how to do better next time rather than punishing them for their errors. Use consequences that teach beneficial skills like problem-solving and impulse control instead of punishment.
2.Allowing your child to make mistakes is number two on the list.
Errors are unavoidable in life and education. Teach your youngster or pupil that they should not feel embarrassed or humiliated if they make a mistake.
3. Instruct your child in the use of positive self-talk.
It’s critical to teach kids how to have a realistic and positive attitude on life, as well as how to reframe negative beliefs. This talent, if learned early in life, will aid them in overcoming adversity.
4. Enable Your Youngster to Confront Their Anxieties Head-On Enabling a child to face their fears head-on will give them vital confidence. Teaching your kid to move outside of their comfort zone and confront their concerns one tiny step at a time while praising and rewarding their accomplishments is one approach to do this.
5.Allowing your child to be uncomfortable is a good thing.
It’s tempting to comfort or rescue your kid or student when they’re having trouble, but it’s crucial to let them lose or struggle sometimes, and to insist on their responsibility even when they don’t want to be. Children may strengthen their mental power by dealing with modest challenges on their own.
6. Create a Persona
Children with a strong moral compass and value system are more likely to make healthy choices. You can assist by imparting principles like honesty and compassion, as well as providing chances for learning that reinforces these values on a regular basis.
7. Prioritize Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the most beneficial things you can do for your mental health, and children are no exception (for more, see our Gratitute Tree for Kids.) Even in the most trying of situations, gratitude allows us to keep things in perspective. Encourage your youngster to express thankfulness on a frequent basis if you want them to be psychologically robust.
8. Take ownership of your actions.
Accepting responsibility for your acts or faults is also an important aspect of developing mental toughness. If your kid is attempting to place blame on others for how he or she thinks, feels, or acts, just direct them away from excuses and allow for answers.
9. Instill in students the ability to control their emotions.
Rather of comforting or calming your kid every time they are unhappy, educate them how to cope with unpleasant feelings on their own so they don’t grow up reliant on you to keep their mood in check. Children who understand and have dealt with their spectrum of emotions (see the Emotion Wheel) are more equipped to cope with life’s ups and downs.
10. Act as a Mentally Strong Role Model
There is no better method to educate a youngster than to set a good example for them. Mental strength must be shown in order to foster mental strength in your kids or youngsters. Demonstrate to them that self-improvement is a top priority in your life by discussing your objectives and the efforts you’re doing to better.
14 Techniques for Increasing Resilience
As we’ve seen, mental resilience is a skill that can be developed through time. We’ll look at a variety of ideas and approaches for boosting mental toughness in the sections below.
Rob Whitley, Ph.D., recommends three ways for increasing resilience:
1. Developing new skills
Learning new skills may help people create a feeling of mastery and expertise, which can be useful during difficult circumstances, as well as boost self-esteem and problem-solving abilities.
Individually, the skills to be mastered will vary. Some people, for example, could benefit from increasing cognitive abilities like working memory or selective attention, which would help them perform better in daily life. Others may profit from competency-based learning in order to learn new hobby activities.
Developing new abilities in a group context provides the extra advantage of social support, which helps to build resilience.
Setting Objectives
Willpower and mental resilience are enhanced by the capacity to set objectives, create practical actions to reach those goals, and execute them. Goals might be big or little, and they can be about physical health, emotional well-being, profession, finances, spirituality, or anything else. Goals involving the learning of new skills will reap twofold rewards. Learning to play an instrument, for example, or learning a new language are two examples.
According to some study, creating and achieving objectives that are bigger than oneself, such as religious participation or volunteering for a cause, might help people become more resilient. This might give you a stronger feeling of purpose and connection, which can be beneficial in difficult circumstances.
3. Exposure with Limits
Controlled exposure is a technique for helping people overcome their concerns by gradually exposing them to anxiety-inducing events. According to research, this may help people become more resilient, particularly when it entails learning new skills and creating goals – a three-fold advantage.
For example, public speaking is a valuable life skill that many individuals dread. People who are terrified of public speaking might establish objectives for themselves that include controlled exposure in order to improve or acquire this ability. They may start with a tiny audience of one or two individuals and gradually grow it.
Individuals may design this sort of action plan on their own or with the help of a therapist who is educated in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Successful attempts may boost self-esteem, autonomy, and mastery, all of which can be useful in difficult situations.
The APA has 11 more strategies.
The American Psychological Association (“Road to Resilience,” n.d.) offers 11 mental resilience strategies:
1. Establish links.
Our relationships with family, friends, and community may help us to be more resilient. Healthy connections with individuals who care about you and will listen to your difficulties may help us rediscover hope and give support through tough times. Similarly, helping others in their moment of need may be very beneficial to us and can help us build our own resilience.
2. Don’t think of crises as insurmountable difficulties.
We have no control over the external events that occur in our environment, but we do have power over how we respond to them. There will always be difficulties in life, but it is important to look past whatever unpleasant position you are in and realize that things will change. As you cope with the challenging circumstance, be aware of the subtle ways in which you may already be feeling better.
3. Recognize that life is full of change.
The only constant in life, they say, is change. Certain aspirations may become unattainable or unrealistic as a consequence of harsh circumstances. Accepting what you can’t alter frees you up to concentrate on what you can.
4. Get started on achieving your objectives. (*Whitley (2018) also suggests this)
While setting long-term, big-picture objectives is crucial, it’s also critical to make sure they’re achievable. Minor, practical actions help us achieve our objectives and work toward them on a regular basis, resulting in small “wins” along the road. Every day, try to take one step closer to your objective.
5. Take action that is clear and decisive.
Rather of avoiding difficulties and tensions and hoping they would just disappear, attempt to take decisive action wherever feasible.
6. Seek for chances to learn about yourself.
Tragedies may sometimes lead to significant personal development and learning opportunities. Experiencing adversity may boost our self-esteem and self-worth, improve our bonds, and teach us a lot about ourselves. Many individuals who have faced adversity have also expressed a deeper spirituality and a greater respect for life.
7. Maintain a positive self-perception.
Developing self-confidence may help you avoid problems and create resilience. When it comes to problem-solving and trusting your own intuition, having a good self-perception is essential.
8. Don’t lose sight of what’s important.
When things are difficult, keep in mind that things may be far worse; try not to exaggerate. When dealing with severe or traumatic circumstances, it is beneficial to have a long-term perspective.
9. Keep your spirits upbeat.
We are less likely to discover a solution when we concentrate on the bad aspects of a problem and stay scared. Maintain a cheerful, upbeat attitude and anticipate a good rather than a negative consequence. In this regard, visualization is a useful tool.
10. Don’t forget to look for yourself.
Self-care is an important method for developing resilience because it keeps your mind and body healthy enough to cope with adversity when it arises. Self-care is paying attention to your own needs and emotions, as well as participating in activities that offer you pleasure and relaxation. Self-care may also take the shape of regular physical activity.
11. There could be more strategies to boost resilience.
To different individuals, resilience development may take on many forms. Some individuals find that journaling, practicing gratitude, meditation, and other spiritual activities may help them regain hope and resolve.
Resilience: A Path to It (APA)
According to the American Psychological Association (2014), resilience is the ability to adapt successfully in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, danger, or severe causes of stress, such as family and interpersonal issues, serious health issues, or employment and financial stresses. To put it another way, it’s about “bouncing back” from adversity. People don’t either have or don’t have resilience.
It comprises learnt and formed habits, attitudes, and actions.
According to research, resilience is commonplace, not exceptional. Many Americans’ reactions to the terrorist events of September 11, 2001, and their attempts to restore their lives are a clear illustration of this.
Being resilient, according to the APA, does not imply that one is immune to adversity. People who have experienced problems and trauma in their life are more likely to experience significant emotional anguish.
Resiliency Factors
Many variables contribute to resilience, but studies demonstrate that supportive connections both inside and outside the family are the most important. Caring, loving relationships that provide encouragement and reassurance aid in the development of resilience.
Several other variables linked to resilience, according to the APA, include:
The ability to formulate realistic ideas and take action to put them into effect.
Positivity and belief in one’s own qualities and capabilities.
Ability to communicate and solve problems.
The ability to control and manage powerful emotions and urges.
All of these are characteristics that individuals may cultivate.
Resilience Strategies
Individual tactics for building resilience will differ. Because we all respond to traumatic and stressful life experiences differently, a technique that works for one person may not work for another. Cultural variations, for example, may influence how people express their emotions and cope with hardship.
Past Experiences
Examining prior events and personal sources of strength might help you figure out which resilience-building tactics will work best for you. The American Psychology Association has compiled a list of questions you might ask yourself about how you’ve handled difficult circumstances in the past. Answering these questions may aid in the development of future initiatives.
Think about this:
What have been the most traumatic situations in my life?
What has been the impact of such occurrences on me in the past?
When I’m in a bad mood, do I find it useful to think about key individuals in my life?
To whom have I sought help in dealing with a painful or stressful event?
What have I learnt about myself and my connections with others as a result of these challenges?
Has assisting someone else who is going through anything similar been beneficial to me?
Have I been successful in overcoming challenges, and if so, how did I do it?
What has contributed to my increased optimism for the future?
Flexibility is important.
The attitude of a resilient person is one that is adaptable. It is vital to preserve flexibility and balance while you confront difficult situations and events in your life.
Allow yourself to feel intense emotions and recognize when you may need to set them aside to operate.
Step ahead and take action to solve issues and fulfill everyday obligations, but also know when to take a step back and rest/reenergize oneself.
Spend time with loved ones who can provide you with support and encouragement, and take care of yourself.
You should depend on people, but you should also know when to stand on your own two feet.
Where Can I Find Assistance?
Family and friends’ support isn’t always sufficient. When you need support from someone outside your network, don’t be afraid to reach out. It’s common for people to seek assistance from:
Support groups for self-help and the community
Sharing experiences, feelings, knowledge, and ideas may be a tremendous source of consolation for individuals who feel alone through tough times.
Publications like as books
Hearing from individuals who have successfully handled difficult circumstances similar to yours may be very motivating and inspiring when it comes to establishing a personal plan.
Resources available online
There is a multitude of tools and information on coping with trauma and stress on the internet; just make sure the material is from a reliable source.
a licensed mental health care provider
Many people find that following the above advice is enough to build resilience, but if you are unable to function in your everyday life as a consequence of traumatic or other stressful life experiences, it is sometimes best to seek professional treatment.
Carrying on your Adventure
A great metaphor for resilience is a kayak voyage, which can be used to encapsulate the APA’s important themes. A rafting journey may include rapids, sluggish water, shallow water, and a variety of insane twists.
These shifting conditions, like everything else in life, have an impact on your thoughts, emotions, and decision-making. It helps to have prior experience and information to rely on in life, much as it does while rafting down a river. A plan that is likely to work for you should lead you on your trip.
Other key factors are your confidence and conviction in your ability to sail the occasionally rough seas, as well as having trustworthy partners along for the journey.
The Resilience Builder Program is a program that helps people build resilience in their lives.
The Resilience Builder Program for Children and Adolescents — Enhancing Social Competence and Self-Regulation is a ground-breaking program that aims to boost juvenile resilience. The book uses Cognitive Behavioral Theory and methods to support a 12-week resilience-based group therapy program.
The program is broken down into 30 group sessions that address self-esteem, self-control, confidence, and coping methods (Karapetian Alvord, Zucker, Johnson Grados, 2011).
Self-awareness, flexible thinking, and social competence are three key qualities covered in each session. Group participants learn about anger/anxiety control, problem-solving, personal space awareness, self-talk, relationship skills, and other important issues related to social and personal welfare via conversation and hands-on tactics such as role-playing.
Specific protective elements linked with resilience are developed via these group activities.
To help with self-regulation, the program incorporates relaxation methods including visualization, deep breathing, gradual muscle relaxation, and yoga. The curriculum provides homework, community field excursions, and a parent participation component in order for students to apply their learning to the outside world.
The Resilience Builder Program is creative, well-considered, sequenced, and organized, and it provides a well-structured group framework that is tangible enough for novices. This is a great choice if you’re searching for a comprehensive curriculum to educate your kid or student about resilience.
Mastering Resilience is a two-day workshop that teaches you how to become more resilient.
The Realizing Resilience Masterclass is for you if you’re a coach, teacher, or counselor who wants to help others become more resilient.
This thorough online course, which includes six courses on positive psychology, resilience, attention, thinking, action, and motivation, will offer you with fundamental psychological principles in an easy-to-understand way for anybody new to the discipline.
You’ll get a certificate after completing the self-paced course, and you’ll be able to teach resilience using the large collection of resources, worksheets, videos, and presentations.
